The Great Toilet Seat Debate II

Perhaps the best part about writing this blog is the colorful comments I get in return.

The Great Toilet Seat Debate was among the finest comment collectors of any blog post I have ever written.

The post itself was pretty short, but boy did it open a monster can of worms.

If the toilet seat up or down is problem more polarized than today’s US politics, imagine what happens when strong opinions appear concerning toilet paper installation and flushing with an open lid.

And let’s not forget about whether or not a toilet seat should be heated.

(I’ll probably be hung out to dry for this, but heated should be the only option.)

These subjects might be more emotionally charged than Trump versus Biden.

Let’s review some of the finer comments:

We had strong opinions (and a massive tangent) about whether the TP roll should be installed over or under.

And in retrospect, I shouldn’t have said “mentally ill,” since technically I am mentally ill. Whatever. If you go under, you obviously don’t care about rules or the law or my personal anxiety or anything else.

Also, Ryan pointed out to me that people who just place the new toilet paper role on or near the holder instead of installing it are a special kind of asshole.

Dear World: I am that asshole.

Also, this. *barf*

In trying to find a meme to qualify my last statement, it has come to my attention that all toilet paper google searches are now related to COVID-19.

Which is annoying.

But also…gems.

• 

• 

• 

We had very strong opinions about fecal matter attaching itself to toothbrush bristles, along with a perfectly timed Arrested Development gif.

We discovered that agreeing on the lid down could be reason enough to get married.

We had some concerns with my saying some men sit down to pee.

We felt for the man who admitted to falling in. And then we felt for ourselves for our own issues with falling in.

We learned that short people either need to sit directly on the bowl or need to invest in a Squatty Potty.

I truly had no idea.

And the Grand Finale…a story provided by my very own mother:

I remember, at 8 months pregnant, getting up in the night to pee, not realizing husband had not put the seat down, ended up stuck in the toilet bowl because my big belly got in the way of leaning forward. Left me screaming like a sailor.

…one of the worst moments was when I realized I peed while stuck in the bowl.

When pregnant, and a big baby squishing on the bladder, there wasn’t much choice! I mean, it was yucky enough sitting in toilet bowl water, then add pee to it too!

Boy, did husband and I EVER have the “seat up or seat down” discussion while I was in the shower trying to scrub the thought of it off me, with him cleaning the toilet and floor. Bad middle of the night experience!

Pam Link

Pregnant readers, be very, very careful when you’re alone at night and in the dark. Toilets do attack.

Edit: Shortly after I published this, I received a compelling comment regarding my mom’s experience:

I want to point out that Rachel’s mother was referring to her FIRST husband. Her second husband ALWAYS put the toilet seat down after he discovered that some people don’t look where they are sitting before they sit. It’s always a good idea since, yes, there can be fecal matter or spiders there.

Hal Link